he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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