how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
