I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
