I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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