she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I need to align my fucking chakras
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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