I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Can't talk, ducks in the car
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
