if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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