It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
