i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
