hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
