i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
