I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
