She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
