I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
