My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
