Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
