Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
