ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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