for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
