About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
