After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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