Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
