So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
