dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
