why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
