Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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