Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
