I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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