We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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