Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
