I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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