There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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