I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
