i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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