worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
