Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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