Whod you bang
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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