Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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