why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Someone stole a lamp last night.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
