I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
