if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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