plz talk dirty to me
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize