he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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