I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize