oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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