Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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