you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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