After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
