I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
