I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
