You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
