How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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