guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
