I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
my liver is dry heaving
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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