i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize