3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I heard we made out
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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