everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
