I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Randomize
